The Cat of Death
by Brittany and Morganna
Summary: Buffy and the gang encounters a furry menace that might be there end. And Dawn dies!:  Please Read and Review. Alot better than sounds. Please just give it a chance. Please. Thankyou so much.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is not a seriuos story ( DUH ) this is are first attempt at humor. We do not on anything Buffy or anything else in this story. P. S. We are not trying to act our age so please don't say anything. Please RnR and thankyou so much for reading. You guys are so AWESOME!

Buffy was in a dark place. Nothing was visible. She new she wasn't supposed to be scared but

deep down...

" BUFFY GET THAT SODDING BAG OFF YOUR HEAD! YOU LOOK RIDICULOS! " Spike yelled.

" You can't tell me what to do Spike! " Buffy sang in her annoying voice.

" Actually I can I'm British. " Spike announced.

" So Giles what did you call us to this meeting for? " Willow questioned.

" ! "

" So you think its a dancing demon? " Willow asked with a disturbed/ confused look.

" I got a theory... " Giles started to sing but being cut off by Willow.

" No you don't you FOO! " Willow yelped.

" Dawn you don't need to be here because we might talk about stuff you might not comprehend

because your stupid. " Buffy worded with her annoying voice as always.

" But Buffy... " Then Dawn was cut off by a demon that just jumped through the window ripping

Dawn' s head off. Then the demon just walks out the door.

" OH MY GODESS! " Tara shouted from the roof tops.

" Tara what the crap are you doing on the roof of the Magic Box? " Willow yelled.

" I like it up here! " Then Tara climbed down from the roof and sat down in the chair in the Magic

Box.

" Bloody Hell! That demon killed the niblet. She was supose to be my lunch. " Spike exclaimed.

" What? " Buffy asked Spike being intterupted by Willow.

" Buffy, what are we going to do that demon just killed Dawn? " Willow inquired.

" Who cares it was Dawn. " Buffy exclaimed.

" Giles? " Xander asked. Giles was in the corner doing the chicken dance. Then suddenly a monkey

runs up and starts doing the chicken dance with Giles with all the Buffy villians and some bringers

doing the Lady GaGa Alejandro crab dance. With the intiative doing the cupid shuffle.

" To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left! " Riley shouted doing the Cupid Shuffle going to the

right side.

Then suddenly Indiana Jones runs by making cow noises with a bolder following behind him. The

bolder crushes everyone who was dancing except for Giles and the monkey.

Then everyone found out they were there for no reason what so ever. Then everyone went home.

After everyone left Giles went to lock up. He tried to put the key into the lock but everytime he

tried he missed. So he eventually gave up after two hours . On his way home he was reading his

favorite book Barney and the Alaphabet. Then he crossed this alley with the best smell in the world...

... cat food. It was his favorite thing to

eat in the whole entire universe. He hadn't had any in a long time because Willow would not let him

eat it anymore. This was his chance to have the tastiest food in the whole world. So he followed the

trail of cat food all the way into the alley. Then he sees a small figure run by...

AN: So this is the first chapter. RNR please. ( P. S. Brittany invented the word foo it means

idiot. Spread around. ) 


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Well this is the next chapter so... yeah.

In the Magic Box the scoobies were wondering where Giles was.

" Buffy what are we supose to do? Giles, he ... he couled be hurt or lying dead in a ditch. Buffy we need

to go look for him don't you think? " Willow inquired opening up a book on demons.

" No hes probably fine. It's not like theres such thing as vampires, demons, the forces of darkness, and

a girl born in each generation called the slayer to slay these things. " Buffy announced in her gay voice.

" Buffy I... " Willow started to say but then Spike walked in to the door with the most ugliest

demon imaginable.

" Looky looky what I found. " Spike said holding the demon where the demon could not run away.

" Oh GOD! Its hideous! " Buffy yelled pushing the ugly demon out of the way and beating the crap out of

Spike with a baseball bat that magically appeared in her hands.

" BLOODY HELL! BRASS OFF! Buffy what the hell are you doing? Its me Spike! " Spike yelled.

" No your not! Spike has very intense cheekbones you don't! The only way I can tell vampires apart

is by there cheekbones and if they have a overbite and underbite at the same time. Like David Borenaz

has. He played my hot boyfreind Angel in the second season. But then of course I had to kill him

because the creator of Buffy, Joss Whedon, made Willow, give Angel his soul back right after the

demon, that sucks the whole world into an apokolipse, woke up and started sucking the world into an

apokolipse. And the only way to stop the demon was to kill Angel. Then all my fans cried for about four

days. " Buffy said still beating the crap out of Spike.

" No I do have very intense cheekbones! It was my only flaw growing up. Other than that I'm

extremely hot. Here feel! " Spike said placing Buffy's foot on his cheekbone.

" Well you definetly are Spike. Uh... there is some ice in the fridge down stairs. Sorry for beating the

crap out of you and not admiting that I really am in love with you until you die at the end of this series. "

" What? I die? Your... love me? " Spike asked almost half way down the stairs.

" Uh... sorry. Said to much. I didn't take my pills today and it makes me see the future. I'm like a bob

cat! " Buffy worded.

" And you seeing the future makes you a bob cat? " Willow asked.

" Not just a bob cat. A bob cat that can fly with it's ears and burp the alphabet. " Buffy announced

balancing Xander on her head while hoping on one foot. Well I'm bored lets go look fo Giles. "

Buffy said.

" Good thinking Buffy. Heres you a cookie. " Willow exclaimed holding out a cookie for Buffy.

" Yeah! Cookie! " Then Buffy ran torwards Willow about to eat the cookie but thne tosses the cookie

aside and starts eating a chair instead.

" Buffy thats not a... " Willow started to say but then Buffy interrupted. ( Poor Willow. Always being

interrupted or cut off by someone ) .

" Willow you know this cookie isn't very good. It's rather dry and also very painful. " Then Buffy

sticks out her lizard like togue and it has tons of splinters all over it.

" Well lets go see if Giles is ok. Maybe there is some clues around the shop.. " Tara stated. Then Tara

started to sing the Blues Clues song.

" Blues Clues oh Blues Clues you know what to do. Sit down in your thinking chair think! Think!

Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink! We use our minds take a step at a time we can do anything that we want to do! "

Then Tara attempts to make a Blues Clues sound. But sounded like a dying lama instead.

" 

kkkdddjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjja! " Tara yelled trying to make a Blues Clues noise. Then Willow jackslaps Tara.

Then Tara falls to the ground.

" You can just sleep right there for now, sweetie. " Willow stated. Then a cat jumps through the

window and grabs Tara and throws her out the window into his extremely expensive car shaped like

a peanut.

" Beware! I am the CAT OF DEATH! And I am going to hunt you all down. And you guys will never

expect when I will kidnap you! " The Cat of Death stated.

" HE HE HE! Preety elephant. " Buffy said pointing to the Cat of Death.

" I am not a elephant you FOO! I am cat... of Death! I will be back! " The Cat of Death announced.

" Bye elephant! " Buffy yelped waving bye to the Cat of Death.

" I am not an elephant! " Then the Cat of Death uses his mad helicopter skills and flys to his car and

drives away with Tara.

" Bloody Hell! That cat just took the gay chick! I don't know what her name is but I'm pretty sure she

is gay. " Spike yelled.

" HE HE HE! The Giant Elephant just took the girl! Funny! What do you know I have a nose! " Buffy

said looking at her nose and poking it with her shoe.

" Shutup Buffy! Your not our concern right now. They just took Tara. I'm not done stealing everything

out of her dorm room yet. And she has the key to the dorm. " Willow said.

"What? Isn't that Dawn's job to steal everything in her sight? " Buffy asked.

" Well yeah. But she died yesterdsy so I decided to be the kleptomaniac in the gang. " Willow worded.

" Oh so your a vacum cleaner? Who would have thought Willow was a vacum cleaner. I thought

she was a choo choo train. So you want to go look for Tara? " Buffy asked.

" Well yeah. But quick question. What did you do with Dawn's body? " Willow inquired.

" I... um gave Dawn's body to my peguin freinds at the zoo. They use it as a couch. It goes good with

there living room. " Buffy announced. After that they go look for Tara. ( They forgot about Giles ) . 


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Wow! We sure did make Buffy an idiot in this story! Hope you guys like it so far.

Please read and review! In the next chapter we are deciding to let Xander be killed by a gigantic flying

octopus. Leave a comment and tell us if we should and do you guys think we should let Angel come

back from LA? Leave Comments! Thanks! You guys ROCK!

Buffy and the gang are in the cementary deciding whether to split up or not to go look for

Tara.

" I want to go with Spike he has funny hair. WOW! I have a feet! Darn! I thought I was an alien that

floats instead of walks and sings on broadway. Well my life just starts getting worse and worse! "

Buffy yelped.

" Oh yeah. I'm fine with going with the slayer. " Spike announced.

" No maybe you should go with Xander, Buffy. I really don't want you going with Spike. " Willow

remarked.

" Hey! Buffy can go with who she wants! You can't tell her what to do! " Spike yelled.

" No. I don't want to go with Xander. I want to go with... WILLOW! " Buffy screamed.

" OH GOD NO! UH? Never mind you can go with Spike. " Willow said.

Then Buffy never answered. Then they look up and see Riley carrying Buffy off over his

shoulder.

" He He He. Pretty unicorn. " Buffy announced stroking Rileys hair.

" Bloody Hell! That retard just took my girlfriend! " Spike yelled.

" Your girlfreind? Please Buffy wouldn't date you in a million years. " Xander worded.

" You two stop! We have to get Buffy back before Riley trys to curl her hair with a burning pitch

fork again! Remember that didn't turn out so well. She still hasn't grown back all her hair yet. And still

has a fork shaped scar. " Willow intrigued.

Then Spike starts to attack Riley.

" Get away from Buffy! The reason she ran so slow when you left Sunnydale in a helicopter was

because she didn't want to be with you. " Spike screamed.

Then Riley throws Spike behind a rock and runs off.

" Buffy... " Spike said in a faint whisper when he was hurt behind the rock.

" Wow! A talking lobster! Willow its a taliking lobster with a mushroom accent. " Buffy announced

reffering to the rock.

" Buffy the rock isn't talking its Spike. " Then Willow uses her magics to pick up Spike the she drops him.

Then Willow trys to pick him back up but before she could Giles runs up to them.

" Giles? " Willow announced.

" Lolli pop! Lolli pop! Oh lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli POP! bom! bum! bum! bum! " Giles sang.

" Giles where have you been we completely forgot about you! " Willow asked.

Before Giles could answer her a GIGANTIC FRENCH FRY! Comes up and grabs Giles and tosses

him in the Cat of Death's peanut car.

" HA HA HA! I pick you off one by one! And theres nothing you can do about it! " The Cat of Death

tauted.

" He he he! It's a moose! " Buffy yelled pointing to the Cat of Death.

" I am not a moose! I am the Cat of Death! You clearly aren't as smart as they say in Canada now are

you, eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! ? " The cat of death asked pointing his fish wand at Buffy.

" Shutup your not Rihanna! Now wheres Tara! " Willow comanded.

" He he he! It's the moose of fly swatters! " Buffy screamed.

" I am not a moose! But I have to go but first I have to kidnap one of you. So you guys turn around and

close your eyes. And pick a number one through ten! " Then everyone turns around.

" Ooo! ooo! My numbers sixty- two! " Willow exclaimed.

" You are correct! Then the giant french fry menion grabs Willow and stuffs her in a magic proof

bag.

" Good- bye! I will be back soon! " The Cat of Death exclaimed.

" Buffy don't just stand there! Do something! " Xander yelled.

" Oh... right! Uh... " Then Buffy turns into a pair of ear muffs.

" Great! The slayer is ear muffs! I'll have to save the day! " Spike worded. Then Spike throws a rock

at the Cat of Death but he misses by a long shot and hits the french fry instead.

" Suck on that french fry! " Spike yelped. Then the french fry starts sucking on the rock.

" Well bloody hell! That was a pretty useless combat. " Then Buffy turned back into her self. And the Cat

of Death was gone.

Then the gang, of whats left of it, goes home to eat sundaes and watch Passions with Spike. Then they

try to figure out a plan to save Willow and Tara. ( They forgot about Giles. )


End file.
